One of the most traumatizing relationships is ones that start with the opposite sex and one that you believe are meant to be with you forever.
Once the universe seems to send out signals and you feel that your soulmate is there, the one you have waited your whole life for, one that you have a million things in common with then you will feel that this is a once in a lifetime kind of relationship.
Your relationship might feel explosive and passionate, until it no longer is.
Most of the time, chemistry people have will get less over time. The trauma bond works differently though, it starts out strong and becomes an explosive relationship and instead of being tired of each other, you become the perfect set of love. You become confused and not understanding of the relationship even though it feels good.
Passion and Trauma Bond
Having a trauma bond means that you will confuse abuse for love. You will be drawn to a person and think that you are meant to be together but both of you have deep seated wounds. It is hard to be affectionate and healthy in love because this love is a bond that is made from preexisting things in your life that have cause you pain.
You need someone to feel secure with and someone that you can attach to and you feel that your sense of love has to be a certain thing and you become obsessed with the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are in a trauma bond because you both will be there by your shadow selves and that is what makes the bond so strong and hard to detach from.
There will be an unstable foundation that will begin to appear. When you have a trauma bond, you will require that your partner be who they need to be. The more time that you spend with them the more you will see who they are and when they aren’t who you want them to be, it causes you to have festering wounds.
This is a cycle that needs to be broken but it is very hard to break because in the relationship is passion and attraction. You will be made to feel that you cannot live with this person or the rules that they have set for you and you feel punished. You will always feel that you are not good enough and it will cause you to have strong emotions. This is kind of like the Stockholm syndrome because you become attached to a person because the relationship feels magical even when it isn’t.
These relationships will end fast but stay with you for a long period of time and can cause you mental problems later in life. You become obsessed with who you are, and it can cause you to feel bad in your future.
You have to recognize the difference between a trauma bond and a healthy relationship full of love. When you have a close relationship, you will want a romantic partner that is positive in your life. You will argue with people and you will have fights but most of the time you will be happy.
Your conversations need to be more positive than negative and you cannot live with always having emotional problems or feeling depressed or worthless.
No matter what someone tells you, love is not meant to be hurtful and abusive. There is a toxic cycle that people get stuck into and trauma is not love. There are dark things, but this is not love and you have to learn to heal from the trauma relationship and get help if necessary.
You will need to cut off contact from those people and focus on making sure that your issues are fixed and that you are independent of these things.
Look what caused you to fall for them in the first place and see if there are red flags that make you aware of what you are doing. You might have love that you think is love but you are being neglected and mistreated and this can cause you more sadness than it should.
There is no way to make sure that a trauma bond ends but you have to do what you can to take care of yourself and pay attention to the signs and symptoms of your life.
Having real passion is something that is strong, but it can also be the start of a trauma bond. Real love will grow as time goes on and the more deeply you bond, the stronger you will be together. The relationship should get stronger and trauma bonds make relationships not strong at all but make you feel that you are alone.
You should feel supported and free and you should be able to meet your dreams and goals. Real love is passionate and makes your life happier and easier. If this doesn’t happen you will have a reason why.
Love might happen fast, but you should make sure that you are in control of things in your life, especially if you have just met a person. You have to always be aware.
Having a new love can be exciting and feel like you have met your soulmate. This excitement can come from manipulation though and they can prey upon your weaknesses.
Sometimes life is not what you hoped it would be and when relationships are consuming and appealing, make sure that you are fixed, and they are fixed before you go any further. Look and make sure that your relationship is not toxic, and that the relationship is thriving before going any further.