There is nothing better than dating the man of your dreams, except maybe being in a serious relationship with him. Sometimes your ideal man is not as quick at noticing how amazing your relationship would be if he was willing to try. When that happens, you need to give him a little push in the right direction. This article covers several tips to try to gradually convince your man to want a serious relationship. Read on to learn how to make him yours.
- Make Yourself Invaluable – To evolve from someone he is seeing to someone he cannot be without, become a pillar in his life. Find ways to fill his needs without him even realizing he has those needs. By consistent without overdoing it and he will realize he does not want to live one day without those small things.
- Become a Positive Influence – Men do not often have the same support systems women enjoy. Women often have a group of friends that can drown them in positive affirmations, but men tend to be self-reliant and distant, even around friends. If you turn into his main source of positivity, he will need you daily. Push him, compliment him, and show him love even when he is not always at his best. Give him nudges to make the best decisions in life so he can see that you are helping his life become better.
- Make Him Say It – We often underestimate the power of words and while you may think something specific, if it is never put into words, the mind does not necessarily register it. If your man is starting to fall in love with you, give him a gentle push to say it in his own words. Do this subtly by playing a game with him where you ask him to list five things he loves about you or how you make his life better. This will help him put his feelings into words and solidify them for himself.
- Get Close to His Friends/Family – A great deal of our lives are shaped by social expectations and the obligations associated with them. We choose how we approach life because of what our friends and family expect in a large part. One way to get your man to commit is by using these obligations to your advantage and getting to know his family and friends. Do not try too hard or get too clingy. Always give your best impression and go with the flow, at least to a reasonable level. If you get to meet his family before things are actually official, win them over to the extent possible.
- Don’t Throw Yourself at Him – You may want the guy to know you like him, but do not get to the point that he forgets that you should not be taken for granted. Show him other things are going on in your life and that though he is important, the world does not revolve around him. The moment you show your entire hand, he has all the control and this is an unhealthy dynamic.
- Keep Things Fun – Some men have a commitment phobia and getting into a relationship is a top fear. They may enjoy dating, but worry about that defining line of being in a serious relationship. To show him you are not trying to tie him down, show him you can be official and still have fun.
- Let Him be Himself – Men do not want their lives to change when a relationship gets serious. So, let him be himself when he wants to watch a basketball game or hang out with friends. You do not have to love all his hobbies or be joined at the hip all of the time.
- Reward System – Us basic conditioning to keep your man. Your rewards need to prove to him that being a boyfriend will be amazing and exciting, not worrisome. Every time your man does something that a serious boyfriend would do, reward him in some way. It can be a simple reward like a kiss, but make sure you are always ready. Make it clear you are rewarding him because he did something great.
- Entwine Your Lives – The more entwined you can make your lives, the easier the transition from casual to serious becomes. Don’t limit interactions to weekly dates because this can keep you at arm’s length. Push yourself into him in subtle ways like belonging to the same gym and working out together. Help him shop for groceries if he is on a new diet. Slide into his life like you would his DMs.
- Show Him You Need Him – A man wants to feel needed and that they have the ability to provide what is needed. Prove to him how important he is capable so he knows how much you need him.
- Disappear on Occasion – Guys enjoy the chase and the hunt. With dating being so available now, they do not get to experience this as often. Trigger that hunting instinct by disappearing from time to time. As soon as he realizes that he has to work for your affection, he will start becoming more involved.
- Don’t Tell All – You have gone on a few dates and feel like he is the one, but do not start sharing all your deepest secrets and childhood trauma. Being open is fine deeper into the relationship, but not in the early stages. Wait until the right time to open up your hidden self or you may appear desperate for affection. Let conversations flow naturally and let small glimpses come through, not everything at once.
- Plan Trips – Get him to commit by planning a major trip with him. The act of committing to the plan together will get him used to the responsibilities of a relationship. It helps him commit without ever really discussing commitment.
- Prioritize Yourself – The ideal man wants you as a partner and equal. Show him the relationship will not diminish him as a person. Men are protective of their identities and crave independence and personal space. They will want the same from a partner. You have to make yourself a priority as well. He needs to see you respect your own boundaries and self.
- Hint About Your Ex – In today’s world entering a relationship means the end of the hunt. It does not have to be this way. Do not let him settle, at least in the beginning. One way to do this is to hint about your ex to show you are desirable and he is lucky to have you.
- Figure Out What He Most Needs – Men have emotional needs like women, but few have the social support to express those needs. Learn to anticipate his needs and provide for those needs. Every man needs something different depending on his life track, so step back and observe then become what he needs.
- Be His Best Friend – The best relationships are rooted in friendship so bond over the things he enjoys. Make him realize you can offer more than just the initial excitement. Be the person who supports him unconditionally, listens when he shares, and serves as a rock when things get tough.
- No More Games – Cut out all the games and just be real with him. This does not mean all serious, all the time, but do not try to manipulate him or play mind games.
- Offer to Pay – This may be small, but it is meaningful. A man is expected to pay, but this can be tough on the wallet. Surprise him from time to time and pay for dates or split it, whatever seems fair.
If you are going to all this trouble to win him over, make sure you really want a relationship with him. Ask yourself the real reason you want to be with him and what qualities you like. Do not compromise yourself because you deserve someone great who cares about you.