A lot of people read my blogs because the topic touches right where we live and not because I’m a great blogger. Love is full of risks although everyone reaches out to be loved. God himself is love and that is why he designed us to love. We are easily loved by the people we love the most since love is vulnerable. A certain death deep inside us is caused if we don’t love others. I received a comment this week from an anonymous person.
He said, “I have a better piece of advice: don’t ever fall in love in the first place. Just don’t do it. It always leads to heartbreak and it’s never worth it. If you never let yourself fall in love with anyone, then you will never have to worry about getting over a broken heart. It’s as simple as that”
I DISAGREE with anonymous. The worst thing that will ever happen to us is not being hurt. Not to love is far worse.
6 Steps to Healing a Broken Heart
Take heart, you will get through this.
It is going to hurt when you have your heart broken over a relationship. You could lose your desire for anything. Experiencing shortness of breath from crying is a possibility. You might feel as bad as you have ever felt. No one will be able to help you.
However, you will overcome this. Such kind of feelings will take time to subside but it will in the end. You may be letting this incidence blind you making you unable to see the good things in your life, that’s the saddest reality. There are so many songs written about a broken heart and there is a reason why. There are many people who have gone through what you’re experiencing and they made so you too will overcome. Just take heart and hold on.
Talk to someone who cares
90% of good counseling is expressing your feelings. You’ll feel better when there’s someone you can talk to and most importantly who understands what you are going through. That person should help through a time of brokenness. Someone can help you get strong when you’re hurt the most.
Those who have no one to help them are the people who suffer the most from heartbreak. King Solomon the wisest man in the Bible said, “Two people are better than off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Therefore find that person you trust who you can confide in, you’ll be happy you did.
Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain
Feeling pain is one of the many ways we’ll know we human and truly alive. It can be very difficult to go through a breakup. This is an indication that we are human. Just let out those raw emotions, it is very important. Get a place where you’ll be comfortable and just cry. That’s one way of ridding pain and hurt from our body. Instead of running from our hurts we should embrace them. It is through feeling pain that we will be able to deal with it and move on. But if we don’t then the pain will reappear somewhere else in a very unhealthy way.
“No one wants to be hurt, and when we are, our first instinct is to block it out. Unfortunately, the best ways to block something like that out is through destructive behavior like substance abuse, cutting, and the like. Even worse, the release doesn’t last and you end up worse off than you were before.” (Jonathan)
Take your broken heart to God
There are those who think they don’t need this advice. But nothing could be far from the truth. Here’s the reason.
God created us to love and be loved. We all really want to know there is someone who knows all about us and still loves us no matter what when we all get down to this. It is only God who can love us this way. We can have the strength to face rejection from others when we have the foundation of knowing we are loved no matter what. God loves us no matter what therefore he is the only one who can give us a deep sense of being loved.
The bible says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself.” Therefore go ahead and tell God everything you feel about your broken heart. He is there to listen and to help heal you.
“It is very important to go to God after you’ve had a bad relationship. God is the only one who will heal your broken heart.” (-Osman)
Give yourself time to heal.
It will take time for you to completely heal if your heart is broken. Almost everyone thinks they will never feel normal again when they are experiencing a breakup. We will heal from our wound that’s the way God has designed us. Our human spirit will come back again and that is amazing. People have different healing processes, others heal faster than others and some people’s emotions go deeper than others. The deeper your emotions are the longer it will take to heal. However, sooner or later you’ll start feeling alive and learn to accept the new feeling. You will be on your way to smiling again in no time if you don’t fight the healing process. You will get through this, just be patient with yourself.
“The best thing in the world for a broken heart is time. It’s going to hurt for a while and some days will be better than others, but you will eventually get over the person you lost.” (Lindsey”)
Learn lessons from the experience
Difficult things will definitely happen to us, there’s no doubt. Therefore, the question is, can we learn from the experience? If we don’t then we will keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and just get the same results. You might, therefore, want to ask yourself some meaningful questions about your broken relationship during this time of hurt. Did your relationship include these important things for both of you and your partner?
- Open communication
- Sensitivity to each other’s feelings
- Ability to see things from each other’s perspective
- Answers to these questions will help you grow and develop before you get into another relationship.
“It is always easy to remember that life goes on, no one promised it would be easy, but everything happens for a reason. And if it is something that will change your life, then let it.”