It is important to know what you are dealing with when you deal with a manipulator. This allows you to respond the right way. Most people will react wrong to abuse and the abuser can make you feel worthless and small. You need to understand what they are up to so you can know how to act.
When people are passive aggressive, it can cause you to be mistreated over and over again. When someone attacks you then they are being aggressive.
Manipulators will do and say whatever they want to get what they want. They will make you feel defensive and make you feel that you need to defend yourself. It is important to know what they are doing.
Goals
The goals of a manipulator is to get whatever makes them happy. They will lie and act hurt when you complain about things. They will not let you have criticism. Manipulators want to avoid you confronting them and make you be defensive and to doubt what you are saying. They also will hide that they are aggressive but at the same time they will not be responsible and will hide this.
You will eventually be the victim and it can cause you to not trust yourself.
Tactics
Manipulation can be aggressive and abuse. It can cause you to feel guilty and compare you to others, can make you feel ignorant, can blame you and can pretend they are concerned or sympathetic to you. Sometimes, they will even buy you gifts.
Lying
When someone lies all the time, they are lying to try to confuse you. They will do things to make you feel defensive and accuse you of being wrong.
Lying is not always straight out and can be vague.
Denying
Denying is another part of a manipulative behavior. They will deny that they knew about promises or agreements and they will deny things so that they can minimize you and have excuses. They want to make a big deal out of things so that you will feel bad.
Avoiding
Manipulators will avoid being confronted because they are afraid you will make them take responsibility. They will use things like “stop jumping on to me,” or make you feel guilty for saying something to them.
Avoiding can be making remarks about caring for you and can confuse you and make you wonder why you are being doubtful of them.
Guilt
A manipulator will make you feel guilty and will shift the blame on you. They will always remain innocent and will make you feel shameful.
Abusers know how to shift blame and they know how to make other people feel bad. They might attack your emotions and where you have been.
They will always make you feel guilty and shift the problem on you and say that they have done so much for you and look what you have done.
Shaming is another tactic. They will do things to try to make you feel bad. They will blame you for other people’s actions such as your children. They will call you a victim and act mad if you catch them in a lie. They will blame you for spying on them and get mad if you say they are flirting.
Intimidating
Intimidating you is part of the plan. They will get their way no matter what. They will say that they have friends that are high in power and they will talk about you not looking good anymore and other things.
Victim
Instead of taking blame, they will make you feel bad for what you are saying. They will threaten to kill themselves or tell you that you do not care about them.
Conclusion
People that are manipulative will make you feel bad and traumatize you over time. You need to get help and get away from this type of relationship quickly. You need to not take seriously the words of your manipulator because this can cause you many emotional problems over time.