We have all had one or heard of one of those relationships that seem to always be on or off or trapped somewhere in between. These can drag on for months or even years for some. However, there comes a point when it is officially off for good. If you are not sure this applies to your relationship, check out these signs that it has ended for good.
Being Alone is No Longer Scary
Weirdly, on again off again relationships offer security because they are always waiting in the background. If you are afraid of being alone, it can be hard to walk away for good. When being alone is no longer a horrifying thought, or is desired, then the relationship may be over for good.
The Future is Free
Even when not with the on again off again partner, you likely imagined a future together. These are your fall back people, there if nothing else works out. When your views of the future start to change, leaving them out of the picture, then it is time to move on for good. You can be successful and happy without this person.
When the past errors and wrongs on both sides are put down, loose ends no longer matter, you are ready to let the relationship go for good. Let the past stay where it belongs.
Old Habits Fade
When you can be around your recurrent flame without falling into old habits, like sex, the SO role, or lengthy conversations, then the relationship has run its course. You have likely both grown and changed in multiple ways. There is no need to force your lives together out of habit. Move on.
Once your ex stops being the yardstick for new love interests, you have actually let go. Change is not a bad thing, enjoy the differences a new relationship can bring. Your ex is the past, look toward the future as you live in the present.
No Longer Re-Kindling
You have made the real decision to let go and move on without playing games any more. This means you do not make yourself available to an ex when bored or in need of something to do. This is a sure sign.
No More Emotional Masochism
On again off again relationships are all about the drama. Even those around you know that it is coming at some point so they better be prepared to listen to the same conversation again. Even if the make-up sex is amazing, you are ready to move on to something more stable.
When you have truly moved on, you know that neither you nor your ex can take full responsibility for the relationship ending. You have both made mistakes and it is time to move on without giving or taking the blame.
You Know What You Want
As you mature, you realize that there is something better in life and you are going for it so you can be truly happy. There is no longer a need to run back to the past when the future looks bright. You are well aware of what you want and deserve, so take some time to be alone if necessary. Holding on to someone until something better comes along is silly, live life for yourself.
Knowing They Will Not Change
Continually running back to the ex is usually because you are holding out hope that they will change. This is unrealistic. No one can completely change, especially if their past is still hanging on. It’s okay to let go of that hope and move on to someone better for you, letting them do the same.
Leaving the Past Behind
When you have really moved on, you will not spend hours wondering what could have been or what went wrong. You simply did not work out and though it may be difficult, you have to let go. Holding onto the past does not leave a clear path for the future.
Whether you already have someone else in mind or simply want to consider the possibility, you can see a future with someone new. Someday you will fall in love and it will be different, happy, and “on” for good. Don’t let your ex hold you back from happiness.